I’m reading a book of essays by Nora Ephron titled I Feel Bad About My Neck.

You know Nora Ephron: she’s written such great movies as When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail and Silkwood. She also has producer and director credits on various films but I’m concentrating on her writing here. You can read about all of her accomplishments here.

In the title essay, Nora talks about the neck going at age 43: “Oh, the necks. There are chicken necks. There are turkey gobbler necks. There are elephant necks. There are necks with wattles and necks with creases that are on the verge of becoming wattles. There are scrawny necks and fat necks, loose necks, crepey necks …

[You get the idea.] … but short of surgery, there’s not a damned thing you can do about your neck.”

Actually, Nora, there is a lot we can do about the neck without resorting to surgery.

(In the essay Serial Monogamy: A Memoir, Nora talks about having imaginary conversations with the various cookbook writers that she idolized over the years so I’m doing a bit of imaginary conversing with Nora about her neck here.)

A scrawny neck can be made more youthful with Sculptra.

We can thicken and hydrate the skin of the neck with Meso, a form of uncross-linked hyaluronic acid. This is very popular in Europe.

The Pixel laser will soften lines in the neck and tighten the skin. Accent radiofrequency does the same thing but a bit slower with no downtime.

We can soften the muscular struts in the neck with BOTOX® Cosmetic.

A chubby neck can be reduced and tightened with injection lipolysis. I’ve been treating my mother and my sister in the neck and jaw area and they’re really pleased with their results.

There’s so much we can do for the neck and decollete now that there’s no reason for women to feel that they have to wear turtlenecks or scarves every day.

Nora, I love the book but I think you’re going to have to change the title.